


Beyond the Understanding of the Logical Mind

by Izzu



Category: BORDER: Keishichou Sousa Ikka Satsujinhan Sousa Dai 4-gakkari | BORDER 警視庁捜査一課殺人犯捜査第4係, Border (Japan TV)
Genre: Canon - Japanese Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21531481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzu/pseuds/Izzu
Summary: Post-Shokuzai. He's been delaying this for far too long, he might as well lay everything open now. For the people who still cared for and supported him up to this point.
Relationships: Ishikawa Ango/Higa Mika





	1. Chapter 1

**_"Are you free? I'd like to have a consultation with you."_ **

Somehow, despite the fact that she's been trying to get Ango to open up to her; right now, she couldn't help feeling nervous. It's been three days since the investigation on Ango and of the death of Ando was closed and finally, the man has agreed to talk to her.

Thankfully, there haven't been any new murder cases happening during the past few days so Ango wouldn't have any excuse to keep postponing his explanation to her. Yet now she couldn't help dreading the thoughts of _finally_ hearing the truth from him.

Well, it wasn't as if she hadn't already formed some kind of conclusion of what the truth could be (based on the exchange she had with Ango so far, as well as all of the observations she had of him) but to have those suspicions confirmed... suppose anyone would've still been nervous about it. Anyway, she might as well keep on going and not chicken out on it.

"Very well, I'll be expecting you."

xxx

Ango was actually looking much better than she thought he'd be, even more than the first time she met him at the crime scene during her first case as a special medical examiner. Guess he made full use of his day-off pretty well. Wonder if she should be glad about it. Or not.

"Sit down," she said to him, as Mika pointed out towards the couch. "Is your head still fine now? Any changes?"

She asked, just out of courtesy and to try to break the ice. After all, it wouldn't be good to push him too much. Especially since he's finally decided to talk to her.

"I'm fine. To tell you the truth, I never felt this good for a while, it's a good change for once."

Mika smiled as she turned towards the small pantry at the corner of her office. "Do you want some tea? I prepared a new pot while I was waiting for you—"

"Sure..."

xxx

He heaved a long breath as Ango tried to keep his mind clear. It's time. He's gone so far and done so much by this point, yet Mika and everyone have still trusted and believed in him throughout this time; regardless of how his actions might seem unreasonable and puzzling to them. When they could have just assumed he had snapped and went crazy because of the stress of their jobs as well as the bullet still lodged inside his head. Yet despite that, these people, no matter how much he had tried to push them away... still wanted to protect him and support him and bring him back into the light.

He should at least try to respond to those feelings.

Well, he'll have this talk with Ichikura-san and Tachibana later, but for now, just telling Higa first should be enough. Considering, the kind of things he wanted to tell them was something that was beyond the understanding of the logical mind.

He should start this... one at a time.

Ango heaved another long breath again before looking up towards Mika.

"Where... do you think people go after they die?"

"Eh?"

Ango shrugged. "That question... has always been in my mind ever since I got this bullet inside my head. Even now, that question remained unanswered. "

"Ever since that time when I was shot in the head, I've been seeing things for a while." He gave her a weak smile. "Since then, I was able to see the souls of the dead and even communicate with them."

Mika let out a gasp, as he expected her reaction would be. He had a feeling that she had suspected it for a while, but hearing him confirming her thoughts would have still taken her by surprise. She started to blink and stared at him warily, before starting to open her mouth to say something in response.

It was why it took HIM by surprise when the voice he heard was that of a man and he turned around to find Tachibana appearing out of nowhere!

"What the hell! What do you mean you've been seeing the dead all these times? This isn't some anime show—Did that bullet in your head really scrambled your brain?"

Chief Ichikura also come out from a nearby cupboard before slapping Tachibana on the back. "I thought I told you to keep yourself hidden till the end? After all these times, you should've had more sense inside your head."

"But Chief, didn't you hear what he said earlier? How could anyone take him seriously after hearing all that?"

Chief Ichikura shook his head before turning towards Ango. "Don't blame the Chief Examiner too much about this. I was the one who had insisted to come here without telling. Because I know if I didn't, you wouldn't tell me anything no matter how many times I tried."

Ango let out a sigh before waving the concerns away.

"It's all right. You assumed correctly that I wouldn't easily open up to you about this. Especially when it comes to something as unbelievable as this. I wouldn't believe myself if I was in your shoes too." He shrugged before staring straight at his team leader. "But it's true. I HAVE been seeing the dead for a while. It's how I manage to solve all of the cases that we've encountered ever since the day I came back on duty."

Ango's heart has been beating rapidly for a while before gradually starting to slow down. He took in another long breath.

This moment would've still come to him sooner or later anyway. He might as well face the situation head on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is something I've been wanting to write once I finished the series alongside Shokuzai. Since Ango did mentioned about explaining things once the last case was resolved, yet in the end we didn't really get it with Mika just be satisfied with having Ango still alive. Well, I tried to do that anyway but as usual the character end up taking over the narrative.


	2. Chapter 2

He rolled his eyes at Tachibana as he gestured at the spot beside him and the other couch opposite him. "It'll be a long tale anyway—or maybe not—you might as well take a seat before we continue this talk."

Tachibana let out a grunt, before begrudgingly sat beside Mika on the couch across from him. Ichikura-san choose that moment to sit beside him instead.

"This was probably hard for you guys to believe but this was how I managed to find out the many things about the cases in the past that may seem impossible for me to know with any other ways. It's how I was able to find out the identity of the culprits before any supporting materials were even unearthed."

"Are you sure all that wasn't just one of your hallucinations?" Mika asked as Ango shook his head.

"Mere hallucinations wouldn't explain how it could provide me with information that only the dead would be able to know."

"How about the intel you got through my informant's contacts?" Both Tachibana and Mika turned their heads towards Chief Ichikura. The man wasn't even noticing the attention he received as he continued talking. "Don't try to deny it since I already knew everything."

Ango shrugged again. "I only used those connection after I found out the identity of the killers to find the evidence to convict them. Or create a piece of evidence in order to allow the information I received from the victims be used in the investigation. I never sought their aid blindly without any direction." He let out a sigh. "Just because some of my recent methods weren't quite legal or even reckless, it doesn't mean that I stopped being a capable detective."

"Heh."

Ango turned towards Tachibana. "So do you see dead people all around you right now?" the man chidded him again. "This was a coroner's office, there should be some spirits still hanging about all over this place. Probably."

Ango snorted. "Don't be ridiculous, Tachibana. This was not like anime. Even I wouldn't have lasted long if I had to see them all the time."

He noticed Mika raising her eyebrows at him, and a part of him felt like snickering again. As if he could boast much. He barely avoided getting himself past the point of no return just recently, even when he didn't have to see dead souls around him all the time.

"I didn't see dead people all the time. Just a few times... on and off, whenever 'they' just happened to recall something in their memories to tell me about it in the middle of an investigation." He shrugged. "That's as far as my abilities go. I can't see people who already died for a long time... or anyone who hadn't just died recently. Sometimes they never appeared before me at all, or only appeared near the end. Sometimes they stuck by my side all day long, annoying me a lot like some abnormal dead person."

"You sound as if seeing dead people was such a common thing to happen," Tachibana retorted as Ango shrugged.

He let out a sigh. "Well, when you kept seeing them so often... you can't help but get used to them." 

"Besides, they still appear as normal-looking people without any of the grotesque injuries they suffered during their deaths. It was bearable at least, aside from the way they could appear and disappear without warning."

Tachibana made a face at him. "Ooh, scary. You sure this wasn't just some delusions due to that bullet in your head? How come you're so calm about this?"

"When did this start?" Chief Ichikura started asking again. "How did it start?"

The man was still showing him the concerned look as Mika did the same. Ango sighed.

"It was on the day when you came to visit me at the hospital. When we were talking at the bench." Ango paused, as he tried to recall the memory. "I saw a small girl holding a Teddy bear almost half her size staring silently at me. I thought nothing about it, but later I saw a couple crying in anguish because their daughter has just died. The mother was holding a similar Teddy bear."

"I thought it was just a coincidence. Until that night at Sawada's residence. " Ango stared back at them as he pursed his lips. "The Sawada couple said that the reason their souls were able to wake up again was because I was around. They're just dead when I'm not there."

Ango turned his eyes towards Mika. "Don't ask me how that worked. Even when they implied that I was the one who summoned their souls to me, they don't always appear when I call them."

"Oh!"

All three of them turned towards Tachibana.

"That time during the incident between Director Kamogawa, Chief Ichikura and you—was that also such occurrences of you seeing the dead?"

Ango could feel the attention being diverted towards him in return. He rolled his eyes at the man. "Yeah. And that was such a bothersome case too. If not because you made it hard for me to even talk to Araki in private, I might be able to get some lead earlier."

He shrugged for a moment. "Or maybe not. Araki may have been blackmailing Kamogawa, but that guy wouldn't have known that he's the one who shot me."

"Was delaying the release of Sakai's body related to that as well?"

Ango turned towards Mika as he nodded his head. "I couldn't be sure if I'd be able to have a word from him quick enough, and Sakai doesn't always appear when I wanted him to. And true enough, Sakai appeared at the last moment."

"If you didn't manage to delay the release of the body, I wouldn't have been able to get the answer from Sakai."

xxx

"So it wasn't because you believed that I'm not the culprit?"

"Oh no, Ichikura-san. I wasn't lying about that. But getting the confirmation from Sakai that you weren't the one who shot me was still a relief."

Mika bit her lips. She thought of that day during Hiroshi-kun's funeral and finding Ango there during the cremation. Ango had looked devastated back then and almost inconsolable. She had wanted to ask him back then, but words had failed her.

Earlier, she decided that knowing the truth didn't matter much as long as Ango's alive. But since now he wanted to talk about it...

...what she should ask about?

"What—" her voice seemed so disconnected suddenly, as if she wasn't the one who was speaking at the moment, "—happened that time during Hiroshi-kun's funeral? You suddenly ran off and after that..."

Ango paused as he turned away from Chief Ichikura before giving her an apologetic look.

"Please don't worry about that anymore. It's already passed afterall."

xxx

He turned his glance towards Chief Ichikura and Tachibana, who looked just as worried as Mika was. And he recalled the looks from Akai and the others the other day.

Ango sighed. He really made a lot of people worry about him, didn't he? Now that his mind had become clearer and calmer than before, it dawned to him that it must have been frustrating for people around him for the past month. He snorted at the realization.

Because of his job, he never really had so much time to socialize much beyond the scope of his daily life. To the point that he had no girlfriend, no friends... just colleagues and random associates. But since he got shot, suppose that fact about him has changed. 

Friends... he never really thought that anyone would've considered him as such. 

He glanced up again as he tried to reassure his friends. 

"There's nothing more to be worried about now," he started to say. "Sure, I was pretty much at a bad place after seeing Hiroshi-kun being cremated as well as the aftermaths of the previous cases that also didn't end well—but I've made my peace with it."

"Really."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the drama and manga wasn't exactly the same and showed differently on how Ango's ability works, I might as well applied my own theories based on the drama regardless.


	3. Chapter 3

He sighed, for who knows how many times already for the night. Ichikura-san and Tachibana had already left for home after reassuring themselves that he was fine. And he was also about to head home as well. If not because of...

"What? What else do you want to hear from me?" Ango exclaimed as he stared back towards Mika.

Mika just shrugged.

"Are you really alright though?" she asked before giving him the penetrating stares again. Every time she did this to him, it always felt as if her gaze could pierce through inside of him. As if she could see _everything_ that he wanted to hide from her.

He almost jumped as she let out a loud groan.

"Gosh! How on earth do I want to start this again?"

"Eh?"

Mika gave him an annoyed look. "Did you seriously think that the earlier talk we had with Chief Ichikura and Tachibana counts as a 'consultation'? That's just you dropping us the bomb about you being able to see dead people!"

Ango blinked for a moment before letting out a small laugh. "I guess... you're right. I was contemplating on how to tell you... but then everything just burst out like that."

"I guess that make sense." He glanced up as Mika suddenly got up to walk to his side. 

And without warning she came over and wrapped her arms around him in an embrace.

xxx

"Mika... I mean, Higa-sensei! Wha—!"

"I told you not to talk to me so politely!" she exclaimed. 

Mika tightened her grip as she buried her face on the crook of Ango's neck. It was a spur of moment thing and her heart was racing.

Still, it didn't mean she shouldn't enjoy the moment as it happens.

"Just... give me a sec to gather my thoughts. After everything you've said earlier, I needed time to properly think," she hastily to stop Ango from pushing her away.

"O—okay..."

Ango seemed to believe her words as he stopped being tense and his body relaxed a bit. She took a long breath as she ended up taking in the smell of cologne and sweat from Ango's body. God knows how many times she'd imagined herself doing this.

Mika smiled slightly at the ridiculous situation she dragged herself into. Finally she did it. She's finally doing what she wanted to do ever since arriving to the scene of Ando's crime scene.

She thought of the surprising revelation Ango had told earlier as well as the things that she had seen from all of her observations on the man. Somehow now, all of the pieces of the puzzle has come together. Finally, she could see the full picture of the situation.

"Was it hard?" she found herself asking him. "I've always been watching you, you know? There were times I noticed you being troubled or hurting over something, but I didn't imagine it'd be something like this."

xxx

His chest suddenly felt warm. As if there's a fluttering emotion inside of him that suddenly wanted to make its presence known to him. Ango smiled.

All these times, he's always been aware of how many times Mika has been watching him. At times he wondered, if her concerns for him was just out of curiousity, a genuine worry for him or something more. And somehow, he couldn't help feeling comforted at the thought.

"It _was_ hard," he started to say as the memories of the past few cases came back to mind. "—but I'm getting the hang of it now."

"I wished you could've told me much earlier..." her reply came out almost right away. 

Could he?, he wondered. Would he be able to tell her about this ability much earlier? While he doubted that Mika's reaction could be any different than right now, he wondered if things could've been different had he done just that.

Ango smiled weakly. "I'm sorry. That thought never crossed my mind."

Mika pulled herself away before looking up straight towards him. "I thought so," she said before sighing.

He stared at her face almost fondly at the way her brows furrowed faintly. At how her jaws slightly clenched whenever she's deeply thinking about something. Suddenly the idea that the pretty lady in front of him worrying this much about him, elated him a lot.

"So was this the reason you didn't want to get the operation to remove that bullet in your head?"

Ango blinked in surprise at the unexpected remark. As usual, Mika went straight to the point. Before he could say anything, she just let out a weak sigh.

xxx

She had suspected it, one way or another. And surprisingly her deduction was still on the right track despite not being aware of Ango's special ability all these while.

"Are you scared that you'd lose this ability once the bullet was removed?"

Ango's immediate reaction confirmed her deduction. She sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this pairing. And as much as the drama or Shokuzai barely hinted at the attractions both of them had for each other, it was there. And while Haruna didn't exist in the drama, she did often imply it in the manga that Ango liked her.


End file.
